Falling

He stares out through the open window. The rain blown in, by defiant winds, wetting him with it’s spray. It’s dark, the sun drowned out by the rain, and his hunched frame silhouetted against the dull light through the window.

I’m cold. I’d like a some hot chai to warm myself with. We would go out for chai on rainy afternoons , I miss you. I’d sit out with you on the balcony, the rain was always special to me. Maybe it was because I was inside, with you, I was safe and warm. The world cold outside, drenched with countless tears.

He looks down at his old wrinkled hands.

You've been gone long, your memory , an inheritance.
You would’ve told me to close the windows, because the rain would come in. There’s just me now, I don’t care much about the rain coming in. It reminds me of you.

We’d talk about school, I don’t remember a single exact conversation ; I regret not cherishing our last one. When was the last one? I don’t remember. With every rain, you're always there, waiting. The chai’s getting cold, you tell me.

Now that I’m old and alone, I’ve grown closer to your memories. With the smell of wet mud , I feel sorrow mingled with the sense of awaiting happiness, with no future to be weary of. When I see you again, you’ll be there, with the sound of rain, on a lonely balcony atop the world.

*sigh*

Were you not in my past ? All those faded moments from which I have stolen memories, of you. I cannot be certain if you ever were. I see you now though, you question me, and I you. What can be said of the flame, but that it burns? Did it burn in the past , will it burn in the future, to come? Or, is the flame born every instant, and yet seem to us, to be one that lives forever?
Perhaps you never were. A delusion that I suffer from. But then, who am I without you?

Abstraction

Dictionary: re·al·i·ty

1.The quality or state of being actual or true.
2.The totality of all things possessing actuality, existence, or essence.
3.That which exists objectively and in fact: Your observations do not seem to be about reality.

I’ve had a problem with all three attempts at defining it. When is something true? Is it when you can feel, touch, observe, measure, contemplate and deduce? Is this material life a reality , with the law of conversation of energy an eternal commandment? If it is, the above three definitions automatically makes sense.

And yet, the mind desires a higher order, and a higher meaning. Perhaps, an eternal nothingness, or a life beyond this. How can this life be a reality, when it’s hazy, and each moment gains colour as it goes through your mortal grasp , from the shrouded future into the bleakness of the past? The thinking man defines mortality, as an interruption of the eternal.

What is real, is absolute. If the universe is dynamic, and life temporary, then by pre-definition, life cannot be real. If you believe this world to be unreal, you still cannot stop eating and breathing, for you need to live, and we are bound to this world.
If you believe that being bound to this world by needs, is an extensive definition of reality, its far from a satisfying. Nutrition and sustenance , are needs, which we as animals, fulfill. A need, and therefore its satisfaction, does not warrant a reality. A need is different from a fact. The society, money, relationships, oxygen, are needs, which an animal must become slave to, but it is by no means a reality.

If what is eternal, is real, then death in itself (and what lies beyond) is unreal for it is interrupted by life. We have a paradox, for then, what is reality?

Perhaps an objective approach to reality is impossible. For, if it is objective, it is mechanical and material , and the intellect desires to transcend that.

The universe has formed from and on, physical laws and universal constants, a wholly tangible universe. From it, the birth of predictable structure and order , and hence life. Life led to the birth of this observer, the observer observed , while waiting for his cognitive ability to develop. From the acts of cognition and observation, he gained knowledge.

With knowledge, came the power to discover , to learn, to understand this world and to define it as his reality.

• Knowledge becomes a mere tool, to control the universe.
• This view of reality satisfies only the materialist.
• A subjective view of Reality is impossible.
• Reality exists without an observer.

An observer is required to define reality, for the universe cannot exist without an observer. What he perceives , exists . As Descartes put it, you can only ever be sure of yourself and your doubt. The universe, a reflection of his own cognition. The structure perceived in the universe, is a reflection of the observer’s organized mind/consciousness.

• This view invariably leads to solipsism. Not that I complain.
• The universe doesn’t exist without the observer , and the observer cannot exist without the universe , a tangled hierarchy then.
• Knowledge is a reflection of the observer’s own mind.
• The world is illusionary, the only reality is self awareness.
• Objective reality is impossible.
• Human consciousness transcends science and reason, and hence, to explain it, the invocation of a universal consciousness is required, which is then mirrored in the observer, for the self becomes a reality.